Grief Completes Me

Psalm 119:50-“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life”.

A current mantra which I can’t quite understand is “embracing grief”.  Let‘s get real, when I want to embrace something, it is because it makes me happy, warm, and fuzzy.  When I am in my depths of sorrow, wrapping my arms around this particular moment and embracing it is the last thing I want to do. One thing we all have in common is at some point we will experience grief.  Each one will experience this soul shaking emotional roller coaster in our own unique way. Because our relationships are different it is clear why grief is so varying for each one of us.   The good news is God works on us in our grief to make us more appreciative, empathetic, and selfless toward other humans.  Because of my grief experiences, I continue to grow more spiritually, emotionally, and understand the true priorities in life.  I have recognized a few revelations during my grief journey I want to pass on:

  • I never complete grief – It has been almost 15 years since my husband died and 10 months since my father passed. Every time I lose someone or comfort someone who just lost a loved one, I feel the same intense deep, raw, pain and sadness.   It never goes away for me, and I have become more compassionate with others because of my losses.  I know what to expect in my feelings, and guess what?  I know I will not feel this way every day and the intensity will subside, until the next time.
  • I am not alone – There is a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I am never alone in my grief, but in the middle of grief I can feel lonely.  I know it is only temporary and I talk with others who feel the same way, so it validates for me, I am not alone.  God is always with me, and participating in a grief group was the support I needed to connect with others who were grieving.
  • It is okay to grieve anytime – I know some individuals are uncomfortable around people who are experiencing a loss. I have come to the conclusion if I need to cry, it is okay to cry in private or public and release my emotions.  I actually feel better after a cry fest and it allows me to refresh and renew.  When I need to grieve, I just do it.  No apologies.  No holding back.  I Let it out and know God is also grieving with me.

As human beings, we have the capacity to accomplish so much for His kingdom.  I put my faith and hope in God’s promise, which strengthens me to continue on my journey and grow in my faith.  I continue to praise Him in all circumstances and know this truth; grief is a component of who I am, and understand it completes me as a child of God.

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