Proverbs 19:21-“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”.
My daily prayer for a while has been what is my purpose? How does God want to use me in His perfect plan? I recently took a 100 question quiz on spiritualgiftstest.com to test my theory on knowing my God given talents. It ranks your skillset from highest to lowest in a variety of gift areas which one can possess. Going into the test, I thought I knew which were my strong powers, but was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. My top three gifts are Faith, Mercy, and Pastoring. WOW! Talk about the light bulb moment when I discovered how my perception was not accurate. My life journey has brought me to this precise moment and now it makes complete sense of who I am.
If you had asked me 16 years ago where my talents resided, I would have rattled off my leadership skills and decision making. In the corporate world, these strengths assisted me into management positions. I could motivate people and achieve the results. In my mind, barking out orders and rallying the troops is how I got tasks accomplished. In reflecting over the last decade, I now see how my perfect, comfortable world had to be rocked to the core so I could discover and develop my true strengths intended by God.
My faith has matured exponentially since the death of my first husband in 2001. The night he died, I spoke with God and told him I could not do this alone and I turned it all over to Him. Fifteen years later, I look back and see exactly how His hand led me down the path where I stand today. My surrendering to His will has assisted me in experiencing God’s mercy and grace in all I do. My faith has grown and strengthened in spite of the grief and loss.
Because of my grief experiences over the last fifteen years, I have honed my empathy traits for those who have endured a loss. I try and extend mercy and grace to those who are hurting and to be available for listening and support. During my early walk in grief, it was important to relate to someone who had already walked this path and who could feel my pain. I want to give back and be available to others who suffer a loss and provide the same support I so desired.
I now understand how my circumstances have nurtured my faith and mercy and can see the vision as to the next step; pastoring. Last year I was led to take writing classes through Compel Training. I started this blog to share God’s word and reach those who have experienced loss in their lives. Each time I sit down to write, I pray to craft the right message and reach the audience who needs to receive it. God has equipped me with the words so I can comfort and support those who are in the midst of their “new normal”. My goal is to show through painful circumstances you can experience faith, hope, and love.
I will always ache at the loss of my husband, dad, child, grandparents, and sister, mother, and father in laws, but there is a reason and purpose I am still here and I want to fulfill my role in God’s tapestry of life. I thank God for all of His love, grace, and mercy for all of us and encourage you to discover your unique spiritual gifts. Who knows? Perhaps there is another writer out there called to share their God given talents!
Romans 8:28-“And we know that all work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”.