Philippians 4:6-7-“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.
I sit here and look at a blank piece of paper. I ask God each day to please give me the words and let me reach those who need to hear it. Silence, there is nothing. I also ask if this is what He wants me to pursue and perhaps the utter silence is my answer. So confusing and frustrating all at the same time. Okay, have I been writing for myself and not for God? How do I sort out what is genuine or my perception of all about me? I quietly sit and wait, wondering, screaming inside how I am such a failure. What about my New Year’s intentions of extending myself some grace and forgiveness? Not feeling it tonight. Need to pull up my big girl panties and get it done. Doubting myself and doubting my purpose.
We have all been there. Frazzled, lack of energy, full of self- doubt; a grand old pity party! But something keeps us from giving up and we persevere. For me, it is a trifecta, The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The best support system imaginable. As I kick myself for not having a topic to write about, something is unfolding from my thoughts and I can’t take the credit. It is my spiritual support system. As I am typing these words, I feel focused, renewed, and restored. No more feeling sorry for myself because I am loved by Him. He extends me grace and mercy and I can now accept it and rebound. I know I have passion and purpose and I so want to glorify God by whatever I do in my daily routine! When I find myself spiraling downward, I try and focus on three goals:
Breathe-A perfect time to take a break. I can go on a walk, read a book, or engage in conversation with family or friends. It is time not to give any thought to the situation at hand. This moves me out of the “I can’t do anything ‘” way of existing and give myself a rest.
Release-I can give it to God. In the midst of my feeling like a failure, I can turn to Him and ask him to take the burden. No matter how many times, He will eternally love me and listen. For me, this is such a relief and it frees me to re-direct and start anew.
Commit-I can now vow to attempt my task again, a different approach and perspective. I have the confidence to complete my project because I know I can do all things through Christ. It may not be perfect, but it is real and from the heart.
When the doubt, frustration, and self-pity raises its ugly head, remember who is fueling these negative emotions. The enemy will resort to all tactics to make me feel unworthy in all of my efforts. As it says in 1Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”. If I re-direct my thought process from “I can’t” to “I can” with God’s love and support, all accomplishments are possible. So when I got nothing, it is all good. My God has everything and it is just what I need to complete His works.