“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth”. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
“Thank you, God, to have blessed me with a husband, again”.
In 2001, I was facing the unthinkable. Scott, my husband of 15 ½ years, died suddenly and I was left behind raising 3 children. The journey was unforgiving but with my God and His grace, I persevered and finally saw the light at the end of my grief tunnel. Eventually, I found myself dating again. 4 years after Scott died, I married Randy. The experience of two weddings was quite different. First time around I was 19-year-old Christian who thought I knew it all but was so naïve. There was the bickering, fighting, and threats of giving up and going our separate ways. I so loved him and now know my time with him would end all too soon. When we got married, intellectually I understood the vows, for better or worse, richer or poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part. But the second time around, at 38, my life experiences of growing in my faith and actually losing a husband made these vows come alive and burn into my soul. As Jesus spoke in Matthew 19:6-“So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate”. For the second time I stood before God, Randy, and a few witnesses, to declare our marriage as a covenant which shall not be broken by man.
When we marry, a man and a woman join as one. In Genesis 3:24 it says-“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”. When we join together, we make a covenant with God, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in death. Marriage is not easy. In many ways, it is like working out. You have to commit to it daily and sometimes it is painful and hard, but the results are rewarding. I love my husband but I don’t like some of his actions and I am sure he can say the same about me! It is my duty as a wife to invest in my husband, build him up, and support him. Relationships in general need to be nurtured, fed and sometimes pruned. There will be disagreements, but a couple who puts God first can learn how to disagree by praying for each other, discussing the issue and compromising on a solution. Why do we spend more time on watching television, texting, and reading social media then investing time in developing our relationships? We fight for the principles we want: a local law changed, a change in a school dress code, electing a new official, but we don’t fight for our marriage? What better example to pass on to our children and future generations than a couple who honors God first in their marriage and is committed to working out the differences, building each other up, and growing together.
I have been praying for a married couple who is going through a serious rough patch in their marriage. It was revealed to me a marriage can be a perfect example of acting out our Christian values and honoring God. My prayer is for this husband and wife to put God first in their marriage and focus on themselves and what needs to change with them individually; not changing each other. I have learned when I get frustrated with Randy, I seek God to change my heart, and reveal to me what I need to work on. Our marriage is not perfect, but it is blessed by God and we give it to Him daily so He is glorified through our covenant and we show the world His love.
I am so blessed to have another opportunity to learn from God what I need to work on to be a better wife and partner for Randy. I am in this marriage for the long haul and I pray my obedience to God, my husband, and our marriage testifies to others of God’s unconditional love for all of us.
Happy Valentine’s Day