Waves of Faith

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“I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.  For in the gospel righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’”-Romans 1:16-17

I sit here with a heavy heart.  Why dear God?  Why do the young and innocent have to die?  I know a family who has to make a difficult decision to remove all life support from their one-year-old daughter’s broken little body.  She has spent her entire life in the hospital and will not ever step outside to see or experience this beautiful planet.   Intellectually I know God is in control and He has a perfect plan.  I don’t have to understand or take responsibility for it, but emotionally I am a mess.

As I sit and pour out my questions, my anguish, and my soul, a wave of peace fills me from within.  Jehovah-Rapha speaks to my heart and whispers “Be still and know I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,  I will be exalted in the earth” Psalms 46-10.  He is the exalted and loving Father.  In my quiet time I have discovered three truths:

  • This life is temporary– I remind myself constantly this existence is fleeting and there is eternal life because I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I frequently reaffirm this truth and keep my eye on the ultimate reward.  God is perfect and good with the divine plan.  He knows my part and I am honored to accept my role and completely trust in Him.
  •  All life is precious– I have a difficult time accepting a child of any age is able to die. It seems so abnormal and unfair.  No matter the age of a human being, there is a purpose and meaning for any lifetime here on earth.  What if a tiny baby, who only lives for a few hours, was to bring an adult to his/her knees and accept Christ into their life?  What an incredible gift to afford to another human being.
  • God is in control-I wrestle with the sad and unexplainable circumstances and in the end, I have to give my tears, sobs, and heartache to God. There are answers I will not ever receive and I accept what is the unknown and focus on what I know is true; God’s love for all His children.

My faith reminds me of an ocean.  It is large,  vast,  and cycles in and out of the tides.  When I am totally tuned into my faith it will run up and over the shorelines like the high tide; covering and drenching my life completely.  But in times where there are such grief and sorrow my faith is a low tide.  It has ebbed from my being and left a temporary shallow place. I know if I spend time with my Father and in His word, He will pour into me and my  faith will  rise again.

Right now it is a low tide for me. I won’t give up. God is good and I will praise Him in ALL circumstances.

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6 thoughts on “Waves of Faith

  1. Oh, my sweet Texas sista. I’m so sorry your heart is going through this. Sometimes, there are no words. Thank you for expressing your vulnerability and sharing that with us. God will leave many unanswered questions this side of heaven. I am confident that he shows us How to get through it although he won’t tell us Why it’s happening. I stand with you in prayer over this family and little girls’ life. I stand in prayer with you for peace. Our souls seem to bear so much weight. Let Him be the one who lifts it off. We can’t do it on our own. You’re a beautiful person. God, please lift my Texas sista out of this low tide. Bring her to your shores so that she may bask in your sun, in your glory, heavenly father. On hands and knees, we ask that you please take this heaviness from the family. You are a God of peace and love. Cover this family, Jesus. In your glorious name, I pray. Amen.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh how my heart aches reading this. I truly can’t even begin to imagine the depths of pain in your heart right now. Hugs from afar sister in Christ.

    When my heart was heavy with the grief of mourning my Mum’s passing from brain tumors, God opened my eyes to something that spoke life into the depths of me. You know Isaiah 53? About him carrying our burdens of sin? Well, I had never seen that He says that it is through carrying our burdens that Christ brings life. It literally says he will “make many righteous ones” through this act of carrying. So, as you turn to Him and cast your sorrow upon Him (the burden of sin), He will bring life for many through that. He multiplies blessings through brokenness: Taking what is meant to harm us to bring life for many. I’ve copy pasted the Scripture below.

    And BTW this Biblical tool really helped me cast my sorrows upon Him, unearthing much more than the grief below (I pray that it blesses you also):
    http://margaretfeinberg.com/broken-heart-god/

    Isaiah 53: 10 – 12 (The Message)
    The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
    so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
    And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.
    11-12 Out of that terrible travail of soul,
    he’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad he did it.
    Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
    will make many “righteous ones,”
    as he himself carries the burden of their sins.

    Like

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