“I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’”-Romans 1:16-17
I sit here with a heavy heart. Why dear God? Why do the young and innocent have to die? I know a family who has to make a difficult decision to remove all life support from their one-year-old daughter’s broken little body. She has spent her entire life in the hospital and will not ever step outside to see or experience this beautiful planet. Intellectually I know God is in control and He has a perfect plan. I don’t have to understand or take responsibility for it, but emotionally I am a mess.
As I sit and pour out my questions, my anguish, and my soul, a wave of peace fills me from within. Jehovah-Rapha speaks to my heart and whispers “Be still and know I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” Psalms 46-10. He is the exalted and loving Father. In my quiet time I have discovered three truths:
- This life is temporary– I remind myself constantly this existence is fleeting and there is eternal life because I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I frequently reaffirm this truth and keep my eye on the ultimate reward. God is perfect and good with the divine plan. He knows my part and I am honored to accept my role and completely trust in Him.
- All life is precious– I have a difficult time accepting a child of any age is able to die. It seems so abnormal and unfair. No matter the age of a human being, there is a purpose and meaning for any lifetime here on earth. What if a tiny baby, who only lives for a few hours, was to bring an adult to his/her knees and accept Christ into their life? What an incredible gift to afford to another human being.
- God is in control-I wrestle with the sad and unexplainable circumstances and in the end, I have to give my tears, sobs, and heartache to God. There are answers I will not ever receive and I accept what is the unknown and focus on what I know is true; God’s love for all His children.
My faith reminds me of an ocean. It is large, vast, and cycles in and out of the tides. When I am totally tuned into my faith it will run up and over the shorelines like the high tide; covering and drenching my life completely. But in times where there are such grief and sorrow my faith is a low tide. It has ebbed from my being and left a temporary shallow place. I know if I spend time with my Father and in His word, He will pour into me and my faith will rise again.
Right now it is a low tide for me. I won’t give up. God is good and I will praise Him in ALL circumstances.