“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”-Proverbs 22:6*
Do you know what I wanted to be when I grew up? It was not a dancer, a doctor, or a famous musician. The only dream I can remember from the time I was a little girl was I wanted to be a mama when I was all grown up.
I was twenty-four before I understood the true definition of a mom. My perspective changed on everything because of the tiny little creature God had given me to love and raise up. I remember when I was pregnant with my second child, the panic which flooded my mind and heart; could I love another one as much as my firstborn? I quickly found out the answer was, yes I can.
Throughout my years of rearing my three beautiful children, there have been many lessons learned on both sides of the parent/child relationship. Some of the lessons I am proud of and would do it again in a heartbeat. Other lessons knocked me off balance, left me shaken, and robbed me of my stamina to get back up.
But I did.
I slowly rose, dusted myself off, pulled up my big girl panties, and took a deep breath.
And reverted back to what I know best; being an unconditional, relentless, and hard-headed loving mama who would lay down my life for my children. The privilege of being a mother has taken my heart soaring to the heavens and left it crushed with sorrow.
I know I was not alone in my parental duties. God, my husband(s), family, and friends also played a key role in raising up the Townsend children. I am thankful for the extra hands, opinions, and grace which was provided. But there are certain aspects of this type of relationship only a mother can fulfill, regardless of the age of a child. And here I stand; waiting to rock my next mama moment.
Below is a piece I wrote back in 2016 as part of a five-minute writing challenge. Reflecting on what I wrote confirms my dream of being a mother. I am not perfect, but I certainly have good intentions of caring and loving my children.
You were wanted and loved. To this day, I can feel the phantom fluttering inside knowing you were growing in me. When you were born you were perfect and exactly as I imagined. I was in awe of how little you were and remember touching your soft newborn skin and taking in the sweet aroma which only a baby can truly present. Because of you, my title and purpose changed in my life. It was not about me anymore, but about you. You also changed me physically, which I am proud of the scars, curves, and extra padding which I now bear. I would move heaven and earth to protect you from evil, threats, and harm. I would die for you.
I would correct you when you were wrong and praise you when you were right. I have been your biggest cheerleader and have believed you could do whatever you wanted to pursue. It broke my heart when I had to let you fall and receive the bumps and bruises life would give you. But I knew you would bounce back, fiercer, stronger, and wiser. I am so honored for you to call me mom and blessed for God allowing me to be a part of your life. I know one of you understands what I have described here and the other two will grasp the concept when they become parents one day. Continue to put God first in all you do and the rest will fall into place.
Love you with all my heart,
* The Holy Bible, New International Version Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Linking up with #Grace&Truth